Some life rules and decisions to share

This was posted from a friend on Facebook last week and it really struck home to me.

Also, Patty Pote, who at one time was my boss and is also a writer, posted this recently:

"You weren't created to be a failure. Sure some things may not have worked out and there have been some disappointments. But all these things helped guide you in a direction that was meant for you. Your life has purpose and significance. Try to be patient if it isn't all crystal clear just yet. For now, just know that you weren't created to fail."

Some good stuff, huh?

I need a good kick in the rear now. I've procrastinated and missed several job opportunities in these past few weeks that I regret. I've sat goofing and watching bad TV, while playing computer games rather than writing. I surf the web and Facebook, drilling down on related links, instead of getting my fat butt in gear to write and rewrite the half dozen stories I have going and transcribing my notebooks.

On the other hand, I made two bracelets and two necklaces out of projects I'd done years ago that I didn't like. I deconstructed them (tore them apart, LOL) and added some more beads. I'd post a picture, but my camera isn't cooperating. I also packed up two boxes of craft items I will never, ever use and got them mailed out today to a company that sells stuff on consignment.

That was another decision I have made over the past week. Inspired by my buddy Pam Asberry, I'm going to start an etsy store. Problem is, the camera. I just deleted about twenty pictures from all angles and distances that were horribly blurry. But, I do have a handy father-in-law that sells stuff on line and several friends with really good digital cameras that might be able to help me.

Yet another decision is that after I finish the eighth round of antibiotics so far this year (!), I will go on an "anti-yeast" diet, based on produce and lean meats. Problem with that is I'd have to give up chocolate and breads, which are like major food groups to me. *sigh* Pray for me.

And another reason why I haven't posted in a while is that I made some decisions about my fiction writing as a result of my Maggie contest critiques. I've made the decision to publish on-line and postponed my deadline to do all the things necessary to upload AT LEAST TWO of my stories until later in February 2012, around my birthday. The judges' notes told me I'd cut too much from the beginning of SEVEN DAYS, in my quest to get the word count to meet traditional publishing standards. Since I'll be self-publishing, that won't be as much of a concern now, will it? I can go back and explain the situations that seemed unclear to the judges and move up some of the revelations. This is a HUGE relief to me. I sent my thank you note to the judges last night.

I will be renewing my Romance Writers of America membership, despite the fact that they don't consider self-published authors as meeting their standards of "professional." This upset me until I realized how tied in they were to traditional publishing. Things will have to change in the next year. I may go ahead and send queries out to a couple of agents just to send in and get my PRO pin, but I'm betting there will be some fireworks. I want to watch the fun. Maybe stir some of it up by sending a letter with my membership renewal asking the organization to justify my dues.

Did I mention, when I was working for the State of Indiana, my nickname was "Troublemaker"?

So, you may see a little less of me on the interwebs, since I soon have to find the dreaded "day job." I also have to get going to get some more things out to a resale mall where I have a booth with another friend. I've been selling some antiques and household things we haven't used in years there and some months it's paid off, some months it hasn't.

I'm paring down my life. I'm desperately trying to be more productive and meet goals. I'm going to be healthier and more active. But, I will still love to hear from each and every one of you who visits, comments and politely kicks my big butt to get it in gear. What are your goals for the rest of the year?

 

Some Questions for Writers--Mining Your Memories

A high school buddy drove all the way up from Georgia to our small Illinois home town for a visit last weekend. She posted an invitation to get together on Facebook, I called another buddy to drive over with me and with a few others, we met at a Mexican restaurant. One guy even rented a car in St. Louis and drove over to visit with us and his family. But, just us girls, well, we spent a lot of time together in high school and while the afternoon wasn’t long enough to get everything said, there were some revelations and much laughter.

A good time was had by all. Suddenly, the thirty plus years didn’t matter. Pam blogged about it in her article http://petitfoursandhottamales.com/2011/08/17-things-i-wish-id-known-in-high-school/mt/ and had some great advice for her fifteen year-old son, who took the pictures.  I know he was laughing at us and I’m glad. It’s good to see your parent having fun. The most important to me was “12. Most of the things you are worried about now will be forgotten in five years. Once you are in college, it won’t matter that you weren’t popular, looked like a geek, and missed the senior prom. You will have the opportunity to reinvent yourself.”

It’s true, isn’t it? We are all competent, accomplished women (and men) who survived and thrived, despite the desperate angst we may have felt during high school. Perhaps, because of what we endured during high school. While two of us at the table did not have children, we are leaving a legacy by the life we’ve led.

As we discussed various memories, we realized how much we’d forgotten. Incidents that were earth-shattering at seventeen had evidently been stored on neurons that were killed by alcohol, stress or neglect. And that’s okay.

But, my first question for everyone is: Why we choose to remember what we do? I remembered the KISS concert, but not that Rush was the opening act. I remember Debbie being there, but I didn’t remember Pam had gone too. It had been a major event in her life, right up with the David Cassidy concert we’d gone to years before. My parents had taken us to that one, but for KISS and a half dozen others, they’d handed me the keys and said go for it. They knew they’d raised me to be a good kid. Heaven knows, I wasn’t as wild as Mom had been in high school.

The guys that met us for a visit played in a band that achieved some notoriety in our area, with gigs at various teen clubs. I think they were a little surprised that nerdy Julee was such a corruptive influence on the Valedictorian and Salutatorian of the class. I felt a twinge of pride.

But, this brings me back to the question that I will rephrase from a writing point of view: What will your characters remember ten, twenty, thirty years from now? More importantly: Isn’t that what should be in your story? Pam said her parents would have freaked and not let her go if they’d known how much weed was smoked around us at that concert. Since I was the child of alcoholics, I really didn’t even notice. But that was an important sense memory for her and I can see how my characters would remember different aspects of the same event, from their different points of view.

As the afternoon progressed and the guys headed out, we got to some serious girl talk. The subject turned to boys (as it often did back then). For some reason, I mentioned my first date and the guy I went to prom with, but did not mention the guy I dated my junior year. I actually didn’t think about it until I was driving home. I don’t know why. It wasn’t like I was ashamed, though the principal all but admitted I didn’t get nominated for Who’s Who in American High Schools my junior year because of it. Which brings me to another question we need to think about with our characters: What are they not telling you?

I’ve tried to put that into my first novel, SEVEN DAYS. Both my hero and heroine did some stupid stuff in their college years. They are horrified when they realize who exactly they married. It’s a major plot point and there are some other secrets my characters are keeping that affect later stories as well. There was a sidebar article in Writer’s Digest a few years ago that mentioned it’s more fun to bring the audience in on their characters’ little secrets earlier in the story, rather than later. Think of the fun tension, as the reader wonders if the reveal will totally mess things up. That's what we want to do in fiction, after all, is mess things up. Don't want to make it too easy.

While my personal reveal on a Saturday afternoon over Mexican food wouldn’t have been earth shattering, I was interested in my reaction. I will use that, maybe not overtly in my novel, but as another layer of flavor, like the guacamole I didn’t get.

And I got to see Rush, circa 1976. My characters would think I was cool. And Pam, I would have totally had a crush on your son in high school. And thank you for admitting you too had a crush on Jon. All of those feelings and memories will get recycled in my fiction.

Living with Other People in Your Head for Five Years

The other day, I realized I’ve been writing on this series of novels and stories for the past five years. The novel-length manuscript in the twenty year-old hard drive in the basement has already been rewritten in my head and notes. Its hero makes a brief appearance in SEVEN DAYS, the first book I’ve completed and am editing.

Friends and family are used to me zoning out in the middle of a discussion, grabbing my journal and pen to scribble something down or pointing out something and saying, “That’s so [fill in the blank with the character’s name].” They even egg me on, sending me quotes and links for articles or pictures.  My husband is used to dubbing all sorts of odd things onto DVDs for my “research.”

He has supported my dreams, laughing at me (of course), but saying he anxiously awaits the day I can make him a “kept man.” For Christmas 2006 and my birthday 2007, he bought me a laptop. It was an awesome statement of faith for which I will ever be grateful. Hundreds of files are there, all backed up on duplicate flash drives in secure locations. Most everything is now done on the much faster, flashier desktop in the office, but I’ll still use the laptop to type in notes or do quick edits while watching TV.

You all are backing up all your files, right?

But back to my imaginary friends. These characters are almost as real to me as my local friends, sometimes. I’ve certainly spent more time with these fictional phantoms, laughing at them, crying at their heartbreaks, rejoicing when they come up with just the right witty retort or when they’re in danger of exploding from so much love. Songs will conjure up scenes or intense feelings at odd moments. My husband works evenings and for my last job, I travelled a great deal. I was never alone, though. I’d just invite one of my peeps to tell me a story. It’s been my honor to transcribe them to share with you.

At their heart, these are all love stories, though other topics and literary events happen along the way. It starts with love, though. Lizzy and three of her four sisters are in Vegas for a bachelorette party. Will helps her during an emergency and she ends up marrying him, bringing home the ultimate souvenir.

The next seventy years are mapped out in my timeline. You see, his younger brother hooks up with her younger sister and there are kids, friends and ancestors’ stories to tell. Oh, yes, I have two historical novellas started, along with a juvenile for Grace’s story.

It’s been a wild and wonderful journey. My “real life” persona cross-stitches and I’ve given that obsession to Lizzy/Elizabeth. I’d like to share pieces I’ve done that remind me of my characters.

At the top of the article is Love Is Patient by La-Dee-Da. Elizabeth stitches it for Mary Margaret and Rob’s Christmas gift. It’s ironic, because Rob is dyslexic, but once he finds out the Bible verse, he’s very moved.

Will—graduated from The Naval Academy and loves to sail, so I chose Bass Harbor Lighthouse (Maine), by Cross My Heart for him. He sees it finished at Elizabeth’s apartment and she offers it to him for his office. She figures it would be appreciated and not sold at a yard sale for $5 (every stitcher’s nightmare).

Elizabeth—is fierce, but struggles to believe this new husband of hers can really keep her heart safe. This is an unfinished piece, I Believe, by Mosey & Me. It reads:

I believe

That myth is more potent than history

That dreams are more powerful than facts

That hope always triumphs over experience

That laughter is the only cure for grief

And I believe that love is stronger than death.

Mary Margaret—loves to garden and has hidden in her garden, at her piano, in a book, on a computer, for all of her thirty years. She sees her sister happy, gets her dream job, meets the love of her life and comes into her own in the second book, SEVEN MONTHS. This is Calla Lilies by Sue Powell and Mary Margaret has deep red ones in her wedding bouquet.

And finally,

Rob—the hardest to pick. He’s very old world, very sensual, so I chose one of Patricia Anderle’s Gothic Samplers. This piece saved our lives, literally. Our car ran out of gas outside of Atlanta, GA, in 2000. We made it to an off-ramp, but it was after midnight and cars were whipping past . I had this in my embroidery frame and we held it to flag drivers and keep us safe. Some extraordinary people helped us that night and I’d like to think Rob would be the one who stopped for us.

So, thanks for joining me on this extraordinary journey of the past five years with these wonderful characters. Though I’ll have to return to The Real World fairly soon (meaning getting a “real job” again), I promise to concentrate on editing and polishing the first two books, which are essentially written. Please follow me on my Facebook Fan Page and you may Friend me on my personal page, if you’d like. I’ll be here, trying to post a little more regularly on this blog, too.

Because, as Mary Margaret says, “Fate and faith puts us where we need to be.”

Love ya, Julee

More tunes, another varied collection

Just your usual selection for a middle-aged white chick from Indiana. Here are the YouTube links for your amusement:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODOOo-R6kg8&ob=av2n

Barton Hollow by The Civil Wars (don't know why, but this really grabbed me)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcCw1ggftuQ

Right Round by Flo Rida (from “The Hangover”)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSVHoHyErBQ&ob=av2e

Rock Your Body by Justin Timberlake (one of my characters was in a boy band...)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yt849wJyVk&ob=av2e

Get Back by Ludacris (I got the uncensored version Tom Cruise danced to at the end of “Rolling Thunder,” but this is the one for public consumption)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZUdzr9e2GQ

Lay Down (Candles in the Rain) by Melanie (swiped this album from my brother)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_7-vVyECbE

Hell Yeah by Montgomery Gentry (Hell yeah! They have video taken from their concert in Evansville, IN on YouTube too)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NhmYH26YVc

Looking for Clues by Robert Palmer (I'd forgotten this one, but like it.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=De6Oj5vIe9Q

Mean by Taylor Swift (the little girl at the end so looks like one of my characters at that age)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NiXbRBS5Z58

Yeah! By Usher (the other "The Hangover" cut)

What's your favorite lately?

Links and funnies and a moment of mourning

www.facebook.com/pages/thingsweforgetblogspotcom/59899066172?sk=wall

Both John Scalzi (president of Science Fiction Writers of America and kick-ass novelist) and Laura Resnick (Word Wench and SF author) had the link to this website posted on Facebook. This guy will draw on sticky notes and post them throughout the city, taking a picture. They've been collected on posters and I love the little bites of philosophy.
Here's another cool, recent discovery:

gapingvoid.streetcards.com

gapingvoid gallery

Hugh MacLeod works in the advertising business, but draws on the back of business cards. Yet again, we have pithy, moving, tapas of thoughtfulness to smile at.

This was a bag found by author Teresa Medeiros in a gift shop. Other than the unfortunate expectations we're giving our children, especially our daughters (did you see the poll where more girls said they'd rather win "America's Next Top Model" than win a Nobel Peace Prize?), it's purple and cute and I would probably buy it to hold my Hello Kitty collection for my character, Mary Margaret.

 

 

http://www.snorgtees.com/t-shirts

A great source for hilarious T-shirts, but I love this one. It's a pet peeve of mine you should know about, while we're in that awkward, getting to know each other phase.

Now, for the moment of mourning:

The Business Rusch: Third Quarter Blues | Kristine Kathryn Rusch

kriswrites.com

Kris not only gives a very learned essay on the impact of the closing of the whole Borders chain, she's found out from her sources that Barnes & Noble has told their employees to prepare for a massive return of stock in the immediate future. Now, having been in the bookselling business (I ran a bookstore in the B&N chain for almost ten years), I can tell you that they have many long nights of strip lists and pulling and boxing returns ahead of them. Get your mind out of the gutter. Mass market paperbacks aren't returned whole copy. The bookstore employee pulls the number of copies called for on the list, takes them off the sales floor and rips the covers off, destroying the rest, either by tearing out pages or putting in a locked trash compactor. It made me sick, how many poor, defenseless books I destroyed. It was a practice developed during WWII to provide books to the troops and allow returns of unsold books. The trade paperbacks and hardcovers are returned whole copy, of course, but have to be pulled, boxed and prepared for shipping. I can't tell you how many times I'd find myself at 3 a.m., still working on getting stuff out of the store, because being management, I was salaried, of course.

What does this mean for us, the readers? I'm going to be making a few trips to the Books-A-Million store about a forty-five minute drive away in the next six months to get my fix. Yes, I'll also be buying on the interwebs. May I recommend:

BetterWorldBooks.com - New & Used Books for Sale, Textbooks, Book ...

Shop over 9 million new and used books, college textbooks and more at bargain prices. Free shipping worldwide. We donate a portion of all sales to fund literacy programs.

www.betterworldbooks.com

 

But it is truly the end of an era.

Latest obsessions

Let me explain--one of my characters is obsessed with Hello Kitty. Mary Margaret loves all things Japanese and always wanted a kitty. She finally gets her chance in my second book to go to Japan, but in the meantime, her love became a little bit of a joke for me. I got a few things HK:

Note, they were all on sale. AND no, I did not get the little Hello Kitty vibrator, but one of MM's sisters did get it for her.

She is the middle one of five sisters. Yes, they were named after the characters in Jane Austen's Pride & Prejudice and "We Are Family" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNAQ8LLptUo just came on my MP3 file. I love coincidences like that! In the original novel and most adaptations, Mary is a bit whiny, always preaching and not very pretty. She has an embarrassing piano performance, which my character has always wanted to avoid. MM finally has a drunken karaoke performance a "friend" records on her cell phone that goes viral. With some designer clothes and makeup tips, in later books, MM is widely considered one of the most beautiful women in the world. She also gets to marry a handsome, wealthy, talented man who loves her very much. It's not a perfect life, but it's perfect for this formerly shy wallflower.

Pardon, while I get up and dance to Jermaine Stewart's "We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off." One of my faves. The link on YouTube has been blocked on this one, unfortunately. I had to buy it off of I think Rhapsody. It's also on the "Zack and Miri Make a Porno" soundtrack.

Another thing I've been doing recently is going through some of my journals to enter and sort things, getting them on computer. I have a ton of quotations, songs I want, ideas for different stories, notes from magazines and books and other ramblings of my twisted mind. Here are some of the blank books:

I have about thirty of them filled and about that many more that have not been cracked open yet. I keep one in my purse, one in the upstairs bathroom, one in the drawer of the desk here and one on the table by where I watch TV. Looking through the one in the upper right (with the artwork on it), I see scribbled notes from a Food Network show, "Semi-Homemade" where they did a bread pudding with cinnamon raisin bread and canned pumpkin. Did I mention Mary Margaret's favorite flavor and smell is cinnamon? There's also  a song listed called "Love, Sex, Magic" by Ciara with Justin Timberlake. The man MM marries used to be in a boy band, like, guess who? Also some notes from a travel show that featured Catskill, NY, where they have decorated cat sculptures all over the city. And what were we just talking about?

I love this $#@%! Thanks for joining me on this journey and I promise more later. What has been your latest obsession?

Every ten years or so

My friend, Pam Asberry, posted about how we tend to “change” every seven years (Every Seven Years). It has something to do with our bodies producing new cells. I know a hairdresser told me one time, when my part changed and cowlicks started acting up that it seemed to be true. Pam also shared a bunch of fun pictures I hadn’t seen of her with her kids, from the time we lost touch.

She got me thinking. You know how dangerous that is. My life truly seems to change about every ten years or so. Or as I said after I applied for the job I got downsized from last year, “About every ten years, I tend to do something that scares the $#%& out of me.” Life-changing events seem to occur then for me too.

So, here are a few pics that may amuse. Several of the things I have incorporated into my fiction, because that’s how I roll. But, you’ll have to wait for that….

1968. I recognize the dress from 4th grade. Right before this picture, I fell and skinned my left elbow. I still have the nasty scar. It was a weird year, because I'd just gotten my first pair of glasses. Mom noticed I had trouble seeing my brother on the plane and while we were waiting for the glasses to come in, I had to move to the front of the class. Funny how I date most of my pictures by which glasses I was wearing. My vision without correction is now 20/200, despite special drops in my eyes every night during my teenage years. Glasses continue to be an important part of my life. I tried contacts, but my eyes are fairly close together and I think I actually look better with them. My opthamologist said it was the first time he'd ever heard anyone say that. Anyway, my oldest brother was killed the next year, so my life definitely changed. 

1978. College picture. One of the few times I actually liked my hair. College was the first time I'd been away from home for more than two weeks at a time, the first time I was making decisions on my own. The first time I really fell in love. I was still suffering from mono and developed a severe depression my sophomore year, that resulted in me spending four days in the infirmary and missing two finals. I was able to make them up, but it resulted in me changing my major from pre-med. I'm grateful it happened, though it was a difficult time to live through.

1988. How do I know? Hideous dress, old apartment, Elton John glasses and gardenia hairpiece I wore at our wedding at my waist. While I was thrilled to marry Chris and knew it was the right thing to do (he just took out the kitty litter trash and started a load of laundry, God bless him!), the retail store I managed took a hit in sales that year due to construction in the area, so hours were slashed. I worked 65 hours the week of my wedding and many more each week for most of the year. Later that year, we bought our house. I don't recommend getting married and buying a house in the same year, but it all worked out somehow.

1998. Fangirl personified, as this was taken at the Rivercon Science Fiction Convention Chris and I were Fan Guests of Honor for. Chris started the SF conventions in our city and I'd volunteered at a bunch, so we were thrilled by this honor. I'm wearing a T-shirt for Contact 15 (our pro guest was Kris Rusch, who wrote some "Star Wars" novels). Chris and I met at a Contact and discovered we'd both attended as teenagers a "Star Trek" fan club event. Small world. I've met so many friends, authors and artists at conventions, I am very grateful.

2008. Chris and I on top of the Stratosphere Hotel in Las Vegas, celebrating our 20th. No, we did not go on the rides, because we had to get the airport shuttle for our flight home, darn. A good portion of my first novel is set in Vegas and I was thrilled to discover a lot of details to "make it real." While I'd been writing seriously again for almost two years, this was when the story really started coming together, actually walking down The Fremont Street Experience, taking a ton of pictures, playing the "Star Trek" machines in the casinos and discovering the VIP entrance to The Forum Shoppes.
So, looking forward to 2018. I plan on still being here and having a good time! Here are a couple of other fun pictures that fell in between:

1972. Stylin'. Don't know what the damage is at the top, probably my loud pants blinded the scanner.

1993. Contact 11 Toga Party, with me in the classic "Roman Holiday" toga. There was a wedding reception in the hotel, but everyone wanted to party with us!

Thanks for wandering through my photo album and please share a picture of you on my Facebook page from an important time of your life and comment below.