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Monday, March 21, 2011

Princesses redux

I have to laugh at all the TV shows based around weddings and finding someone (though I do watch "Say Yes to the Dress"--train wrecks, you know).  We're coming up on wedding season, waiting for the current crop of bridezillas to make their appearances.  Looking at some of the $$$s spent makes my stomach churn.  I could never feel comfortable paying $40K for a wedding--that's what we paid for our house for heaven's sake!  But, with this culture of The Perfect Wedding, I have to ask:  Are women in danger of thinking our wedding day will be the only day we're special? 

I have several weddings in my fiction.  One thing about the first book in my series is that it's titled "Seven Days," starting on a Monday night and the main characters get married that Wednesday.  Not a traditional romance, in that I found the real story was how they dealt with the next few days.  But, Will and Elizabeth get married in jeans at the hospital's Meditation Chapel in Las Vegas.  He did offer to take her to the chapel where you could get married by the guy in the green alien suit, but they decided to do this instead.  They go back to Indianapolis, her hometown, for the oldest sister's wedding that Saturday.  I'm making that one a major production number, but only touching on some details, because the story happens at the reception after. 

Mary Margaret, the middle sister (yes, they're named after Jane Austen's Pride & Prejudice sisters), is horrified when her dad jokes, "How much for you to elope to Vegas, Princess?" 

But, that's what my dad offered.  I'm glad we went ahead and had our small wedding for under a hundred people, because it was the first time in decades two of my uncles were together.  We were married by a judge in an apartment complex's party room.  I found a try-on dress for under $100 that was waltz-length and perfect.  I told my high school buddy to pick out a dress she'd like to wear and that was that.  By the way, Mary Margaret marries in a red dress, since she'd spent the previous four months in Japan, one of the cultures that considers white the color of mourning. 

So, while it's important to hold a ceremony (traditional or same-sex, as I have several gay couples in my fiction) as a celebration and I'm always up for a party, don't you think it's dangerous to focus so much on the wedding?  Shouldn't we worry more about the life and relationship after?  Just sayin'.  Stepping down off my soapbox now.  Thanks for listening and I'd love to hear your thoughts. 


  1. The song that just came up is "Lady in Red"! How funny is that?

  2. hit the nail on the head. Yes, weddings are ok, but on the way back from the ceremony......

  3. Thought-provoking post, Julee. I had a lovely wedding - you were there - but you know how THAT story ended. If I ever get married again, I will probably have a simple ceremony - and wear white - but it is definitely what happens AFTER the wedding that really matters. Thanks for sharing your story!

  4. Yes, Pam, I was there and it was beautiful--I especially loved the ragtime piano concert. And we know how it turned out with the guy I was with. Just have to find the right guy, right? BTW, my over-medicated mom said for me to find a nice white suit to get married in, because, "It's not like you're getting married in a church." *sigh* She agreed when she saw it, my dress was terrific. I'd never taken it to a dry cleaners and don't have any children, so I tossed it recently. No regrets. Thanks--love ya!