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Tuesday, April 12, 2011

There was a little girl

Who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
When she was bad, she was horrid.

Guess what I saw when I looked into the mirror just now?  For five seconds, I debated whether to go down the street for a haircut.  I then took another look and decided it was in that in-between growing out stage where it looks kind of cool and I'd let it go for another week or two. 

A few years ago, I fell and hit my right elbow on a concrete curb.  The doctor suggested it would've healed faster if I'd actually broken it (great...), but there really wasn't anything they could do about it.  It was then I realized I was so very right handed.  I'd always tried to do things with my left hand, because I'd heard it encourages creativity and just in case of this exact event, but there are routines and habits that were created and had to be dealt with.  One result was I got my hair cut very short.  We're talking boy short here and I kind of liked it.  I didn't have to mess with a hair dryer, it was easy to maintain and that was all good, because I couldn't raise my arm above my chest. 

I still keep it pretty short, because to be honest, I've never liked to mess with hair products.  This did not set well (sorry for the pun) when I worked at a beauty supply house many years ago.  The manager felt I should be putting all this goop in my hair since I was selling it, but the hairdressers (it was wholesale, not open to the public) often came in looking like train wrecks.  I compromised and tried to keep my nails nice, since we sold those products too.  But, my point is:  in talking with hairdressers, everyone seemed to agree that no one is ever happy with what they have.  Here people pay hundreds a year on products and services to get the  curl and body I have naturally and I just cut the stuff off.    In high school, I wanted straight, long hair.

Ah, irony.  You can probably date the picture by the movie camera and the size of my glasses--well and by the fact I'm not wearing heifer cow sized clothes and my shag haircut.  Welcome to my high school nerdiness. 

Yes, we're usually not happy with what we have.  The grass is greener on the other side of the fence, etc.  I'm saying it's usually an optical illusion.  What someone has seems idealized to you.  Someone is always better or has more than you. 

A critical point in my life came when I took a job as a trainer for a government agency.  I was thrown into an already established team, with skill sets and knowledge I could only aspire to.  I took a great leap of faith, realizing I did not have to be the smartest person in the room and I was okay with that.  Rather than rolling in and being obnoxious or jealous, I carved the majority of my ego off and handed it to God. 

So, what does my laziness about getting a haircut and this other stuff have to do with writing?  Other people will always be more successful than me.  Other people will always have a better looking blog/page/whatever than me.  Rather than being hateful or snarky or trying to make myself feel grander by cutting them down, I will do my best to learn from them and by being encouraging.  Hating never worked anyway.  It's such a waste of energy.  I've tried to learn this and tried to teach it to my characters.  So, congrats to all--please share your successes and I will celebrate them with you.  Then, I may ask you for advice or commiserate with you on those goals we fall short, so we can learn and improve. 


  1. Great post, Julee. You are absolutely right; there is no point in comparing ourselves with others. We are each unique and necessary in our own way. That's one of the things I love about the writing community, the way we support each other. It is not a contest; there is room for all of us.

  2. Very true and thanks for not making a crack about the pic, but then, you knew me then....

    "See you" in a bit for Follow Friday!